Overcome loneliness as a Developer

TL;DR you must Join Meetups!

It can be a very lonesome feeling to think that you could be the only Developer in your area.

Or that you think you are?

Or it might even be the lonely feeling of unwillingness to act to meet other developers, with all the hopelessness that you will not have a good time meeting others because of social anxiety?

But we’ll need to break this downward spiral!

Here’s how:

  • You are not the only Web Developer
  • You are not the only one thinking like this
  • Others have overcome this
  • What is there to lose?

Overcome loneliness as a Developer

Fermi Paradox for Web Developers

Knowing that you are the only Web Developer in your area can be a really lonesome feeling.

It’s easy to get into the habit of not going out to social events especially if you are a software developer.

Your usual schedule you might understand will be:

  • Wake up
  • Breakfast
  • Go to work
  • Code until happy
  • Go home
  • Have dinner
  • Sleep
  • Wake up (repeat)

And this goes on-and-on Monday to Friday. When Saturday comes up you work on your side projects or just keep coding.

But then again you think ‘I need to get out more often’.

But you do know you don’t party often. And need meaningful conversations that overpower your conscience. But couldn’t find a way to get to it.

Yes we’re doing well with building up our skills and what we do, but when is the ‘spa relax time’ for Web Developers?

We’ll need to first break this habit. And realise that we’re not the only ones succumbing to this.

If you’ve got a problem, you’re not the only one…

Overcome loneliness as a Developer

The problem

You’ve got to get out more often. But how can you accomplish this?

This is where we need to introduce ourselves to Meetups. Especially if you are not yet a full-fledged speaker about your technology nor a great influence, it is amazing what you can learn and the amazing people you can find on the meetups.

Now, the problem is that you need to get out of your own boring routine. But how to get into a Meetup?

As Web Developers it’s easy to overthink this.

But all the steps to solve the problem are to:

  • Push the envelope and just sign up to your nearest one. Anything that gets your interest like ‘ooh’. Then go for it!
  • Think later, once you are already in the meetup itself!
  • Smile and have fun!

Once you are in a Meetup with other developers, the venues are always breathtaking! And highly productive! Especially if you come from the countryside it will be amazing what you can see in the major cities like here in London!

It’s amazing too to know that everyone like you are in the same interests. All of you are friendly. All of you have similar traits and quirks/skills. So it’s really easy to get in good terms with others like your best friend.

Overcome loneliness as a Developer

Attacking our ancient human brain

This is where we attack our human biases which include:

Thinking that we will be in this bubble and nothing is outside it.

We need to expand our awareness of the world around us!

For example, I never thought that I would be in this meetup right now and behold my eyes of the amazing atmosphere there is here!

It’s like I can really live here!

It’s redefining my neural paths and the way I think about this, plus anything else now that my mind realises this impending ancient brain!

That I shouldn’t think that’s all there is to life.

You meet great people when you go to these meetups.

Just go try one out.

Overcome loneliness as a Developer
Breathtaking venues from Web Developer meetups

Pros of going to developer meetups

  • There is nothing to lose, and everything to gain
  • You meet amazing people
  • You expand your awareness of the world (just like traveling)
  • You freshen up your environment
  • You gain more creativity now that you’ve expanded your conscience
  • You gain a better foothold of yourself
  • You know where you are in this world.
  • You share your experience to others


  • You feel nervous, but that’s natural if you’re doing anything new, like your current job’s interview
  • You spend some money (but don’t do so always anyway?)
  • You need to prepare your bag like a day-travel
  • You need enough sleep for the travel

Cost of a meetup

True cost of expenses for a meetup are:

  • Travel fare (going there, and returning)
  • Lunch/Snacks (check the Menu of the venue)

This differs based on where you live.

But if we work with the First Principles theory as mentioned by Elon Musk we understand that we need a goal in mind.

The goal: Go to a meetup every week

Next, we find out how often we need to attend. That’s every week to appease our human brain! But you can go hardcore into it if you’d like!

Cost every week: £10 (travel fare) + £10 (snacks) = £20 weekly
Monthly cost: £20 x 4 = £80 monthly

Finally, check if you have that much left at the end of the month! If not, make room for it! It’s highly valuable! (You need to negotiate your raise, use this article!)


Going to meetups really helps refresh your mind as you actively meet and greet other developers in your area, which makes you as a human (yes, you’re still human unfortunately) feel at ease with being with others who have similar interests to you.

Even a similar personality is amazing given the biases that we have with our mind!

Your action step: Attend a Meetup no matter what! Thank me later!

Thank you for reading my article! If you liked this post you’ll also like to know about how to go about the thought of Limitlessness as a Web Developer. I go in-depth in the 3-part mini-series.
Enjoy your day!